Bullies are cowards looking to intimidate, harass, embarrass, and hurt your child.
They are not hard to figure out, and when the family helps their bullied child, he can become empowered, safe, and encouraged.
My brother came home one day with a bleeding lump on his forehead he earned while coming home from school.
As he boarded a bus, he was struck from behind unexpectedly. When he turned around, to see who hit him, the bully hammered him in the forehead, cutting his head and causing a huge lump to form.
My brother attempted a defense, but because of his injury, he was unable to do so effectively.
The bully struck without provocation because that is what they do.
I will never forget seeing my brother holding an ice pack to his head telling my mother the story of what happened.
The look on his face told us he felt ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated. He didn’t have to say a word, and my heart really went out to him.
This wasn’t the only time it would happen. I am pretty sure a lot of bullies targeted my brother and he never told us about it.
Bullies and bullying take many forms, and not surprisingly, research has shown most incidents of bullying take place in the school setting and not on the way to school or on the way home from school.
Bullies can be both boys and girls, but their methods for tormenting their target differ greatly.
Boy bullies are more aggressive and often resort to physical aggression and verbal harassment.
They bully both boys and girls, but boys are more often victimized, at least during the elementary school years.
Girls bully less than boys, but their bullying tactics often involve indirect methods like gossip, isolation, silent treatment, and exclusion.
This may reflect how girls value social relationships and use them to hurt others.
In about 50% of bullying cases, bullies tend to act alone.
They may use assault, tripping, intimidation, demands for money, destruction of property, theft of valued possessions, destruction of another’s work, and name-calling.
- First, trust your instincts.
We know many victims possess certain qualities that seem to make them ripe for aggressive or mean kids.
Children lacking assertiveness, emotional support from friends, and are passive seem to become the targets of bullies.
The last thing a mean kid wants is resistance or an assertive victim because that makes his self-appointed tormenting behavior more difficult.
Other clues to determine whether your child has a rough go of it are he comes home from school with the following:
- torn or dirty clothing or damaged books;
- he has cuts, bruises or scratches;
- seems afraid to go to school, or complains of headaches or stomach pains;
- doesn’t sleep well or has bad dreams;
- loses interest in school work;
- seems sad or depressed or moody;
- is anxious or has poor self-esteem;
- is quiet, sensitive, or passive.
Talking to your child is the first step in determining the proper course of action. Realize kids dealing with this behavior are hesitant to talk, especially as they get older.
I will never forget the time I told my mom about a kid poking me in the kidneys every day in homeroom.
A few weeks later he showed up at our church kids program, and I had told her my tormentor’s name.
She immediately recognized the name and began to ask him if he was the boy that was hurting me.
As I looked for a hole to fall into, she began reading him the riot act. Saying I suffered for her good-hearted, but an ill-advised approach would really be an understatement.
Yes, he stopped physically hurting me, but his verbal harassment increased.
Parents confronting the tormentor or the tormentor’s parents is rarely effective without a third party intermediary.
I recently saw a news story where a mother was seen attacking a child on a school bus because she had been insulting her daughter. It is hard to be a parent from a jail cell.
A parent should become involved on three levels.
There are many things you can do to increase a child’s assertiveness and safety.
First How to Help Your Child Deal With Bullies, as mentioned, it is important to prepare your child through training in the home.
Secondly How to Help Your Child Deal With Bullies, develop critical communication with your child about what is going on in his life.
The cost of not catching this problem and nipping it in the bud can be too costly to your child.
This type of behavior has been linked to child depression, suicidal thoughts, and violent retribution in the school setting.
Thirdly How to Help Your Child Deal With Bullies, go to school and get the principal and teachers involved in your child’s problem.
The earlier you intervene the better it is for your child. Training your child through personal safety techniques is a good place to start.
Note I am not advocating fighting because personal safety training is completely different.
I am also not recommending you spend a great deal of money on karate lessons because I think parents can do a great job in the home.
Developing lines of communication is a great place to start. Let your child understand that he is being bullied and it is your job as a parent to make sure it stops.
Tell him you are on his side and support him by telling him you believe him when he says he is being bullied. Many times a child won’t tell because he doesn’t think anyone will believe him.
Develop a plan of action with your child. Instead of telling him what you are going to do and storming down to school to yell at the principal, develop a plan of attack together.
This empowers the child by helping him develop options for dealing with the problem.
If your child states he does not want you to get involved because he thinks it will get worse, let him know it will only get worse unless you become involved.
Begin by talking to school officials, school resource officers, and teachers.
Most bullying problems can be resolved in the school setting when school officials are willing to change the culture of the school.
There are many bullying prevention programs that may be implemented in the school that may decrease the opportunities for bullies to hurt other children. Hope the article helps you to know How to Help Your Child Deal With Bullies. Any queries comment below.